this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
