she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it because I queefed?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
