great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
