you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
