You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
