i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
