if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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