yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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