Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
