i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
false alarm. still invincible.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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