i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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