I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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