he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So squirting runs in the family.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
