Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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