And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
