Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Actions speak louder than pants.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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