That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
