i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
