I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
