Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
