she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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