my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
