Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You work out of a Hotel?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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