The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
