Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
