if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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