Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
