I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
