I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm at about main and main street
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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