You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
