Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is Oprah even human
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
