just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
