Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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