He uses pillows to masturbate.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
