My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
