i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
