Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
