And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
