I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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