Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
