i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
