why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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