Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
