You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
