just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
