Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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