She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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