I can text with my tongue
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
