he shaved USA in his pubs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
