Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
