So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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