She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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