lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
