Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
