I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
