I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
