I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
